Murderous Love
by AkatsukiRedCloud
Summary: New couple, Sasori and Deidara, decide to go on a road trip in their caravan, across England. However, events soon conspire against the couple and their dream caravan holiday takes a very wrong turn indeed. For SasoDei month, rated M for sexual themes and future gore. Based on the film "Sightseers", please review! SasoDei.
1. New Adventure

_**So I've finally submitted something for SasoDei month~! As I've based quite a few of my fics from films, I've decided to go the safe route, and do it again. XD**_

_**"Sightseers" is a British film about a murderous couple; that is all. XD Naw, it's actually a really good film, and I'll have a great time writing it. I may even have to sneak a lemon or two in this as well, as lots of people have requested that I write a lemon...Also, as this is an English film, that includes a lot of English sights and references, I'm going to have to make Saso and Dei...English. I assure you, we're not that bad...XD **_

_**I'm going to get as much of this written as I can, and post up to two chapters a day, which will hopefully be rather long. **_

_**I do not own Naruto or Sightseers. **_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!^^**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

I stood at the entrance of the living room, holding a cup of tea. My mother was sat in the center of the room, groaning loudly. This was typical of her. Of course, there was never anything wrong, she just craved for constant attention. She was like that ever since dad left, when I was 8. I slowly peered in as the woman's groaning came to a halt, and blinked. "Mum...?"

My mother let out a long sigh, her eyes fixated on the old, dated carpet. "Mum?" I repeated, still not gaining her attention. "Mum, mum...?". I ended up saying that word at least 20 times, before getting a reply from the old woman. She slowly turned her skinny face towards me, giving me a plain, blank look. "Are you alright, un?" I asked, standing in front of her.  
"I was just thinking about Tobi." She stated, pursing her wrinkled lips. "He was my only friend."  
"Mum..." I muttered, frowning at the greying woman. "I-I'm your friend...".  
Slowly, she turned her head towards me again, glaring. "You're not a friend..." She announced. "You're just a stupid relative."

* * *

"I'm 19 years old, un!" I growled. "And I've finally found someone who likes me, and I like him, so we're going on holiday!"

Mum stood inches away, a look of anger plastered across her face. "You're running away, aren't you?". I watched her toddle across the kitchen, picking up a familiar leather leash. "From your _guilt_!" She scowled, throwing the leash onto the floor with the poor amount of strength she had in her arms.  
"Don't do that with Tobi's lead, un..." I muttered, picking up the unused leash and holding it against my chest.

* * *

I stared in the mirror as mum brushed my long, blonde hair. "You've always had awful hair, boy." She muttered, gently brushing the long strands. "It's so thin, why can't it be like mine?"

Of course, I was used to the woman saying stuff like that. Ever since dad left, she had turned into a complete bitch. Despite always being horrible to me, and treating her only son like absolute crap, I couldn't bring myself to be mean to her- The woman had raised me. When dad left, she could have just given me away and started a new life, but no, she decided she would raise me alone. That's why I wasn't allowed to move out, because I was told to look after her, like she had for me.

"You've got awful split-ends." She stated, lightly tugging the bottom of my hair. The reason why it was so long, was mainly because the woman refused to let me cut it. She always complained that it was too long, and that I looked homeless, however whenever I announced that I would be getting it cut, she would burst into tears, and beg me not to.

She was a strange woman indeed.

* * *

I smiled at my boyfriend, Sasori. He was a little bit older than me, being 24, but there wasn't too much of an age gap. Sasori was a pleasantly unique character, and very attractive. Despite being short, he was rather petite and small-looking. He had a shock of red hair, which was lovely and thick. His skin was very pale, and smooth, and his features were cute, making him appear very young. He had large, light brown eyes, aswell as lovely thick eyelashes. If anything, I was envious of Sasori. However, despite being very pretty, Sasori certainly had his flaws.

Sasori appeared to be a very simple person, but he was far from that. For example, many would say he suffered from OCD, but he didn't. The red-head loved clutter, however that clutter must be perfect. Clean, in size order, and colour-coordinated. So he wasn't OCD, he was more of an OCD clutter-nut. I could name so many other flaws and strange things about him, however I think you'd find out for yourself another time.

"Danna!" I grinned, pulling the man into a hug. "You're here, un!"  
"Of course I am, silly..." The red-head smiled, kissing my head. ",Have you got all your bags?". I nodded in reply, smiling.

* * *

"Dei, you didn't tell me your mother was an artist...?"

I frowned at the sound of Sasori's voice, coming from mum's office. "Danna..." I mumbled, standing by the door to the office. "You can't go in there, un...Mum will go mad..."  
The red-head chuckled, stroking a picture of my old dog, Tobi. "I think she's long passed that point..."  
"Danna, pleas-

"What's going on...?"

I frowned at my mother, who was standing about a meter away. "I-I told you no one should go in my room...", She growled, standing at the doorway.  
Sasori smiled, not at all bothered by that. "Actually, Mrs Iwa, I was just admiring your artwork, it's amazing."  
"Sasori was just looking, un..." I added, staring at the carpet.  
"I don't want anyone invading my sanctum..." She hissed, entering the room and sitting in her armchair, glaring at Sasori.  
"Shall we leave you here to look at your brushes, un...?" I asked, gently pulling Sasori out of the room.  
"Just let me sit here." She demanded, her voice suddenly softening. "B-But...I could do with a cup of tea."

I nodded, looking down. "Okay, mum...".  
"That would be nice." She added.  
"I'm shutting the door now, un..."  
"Okay."  
"Bye, un..."  
"Bye."  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah."  
"Okay..."

Sasori burst out laughing as I closed the door. "She's mad...!" I glared at the red-head.  
"Leave her alone, un..." I pouted, crossing my arms.  
"Okay, okay~" He chuckled, pressing our foreheads together.

* * *

I helped Sasori load my many things into the caravan, watching as he made sure everything was in a perfect place, and looked ok. I giggled, shaking my head. "You have problems, Danna~"  
"We all have problems, brat~" The red-head smiled, adjusting the basket of my knitting equipment. "I like your stuff."  
I pouted. "I don't, un...".  
Sasori tilted his head, readjusting the basket. "Why not...?"  
"Well...I do...But at the same time, I'd be happy if it were destroyed, un."  
The red-head chuckled, smiling. "Makes sense."

"So what were you like when you were young then...?" Sasori asked, sitting in the driver's seat of the car.  
"Unhappy, un..." I muttered, looking down. "What about you...?"  
The red-head shrugged, starting the car. "I wasn't really anything, I was...Invisible."  
I nodded, chuckling. "What about you having red hair, un~?"  
Sasori smiled, turning his head towards me in a joking manner. "Well, that's always a problem, isn't it?"

"He's not safe."

I snapped my head towards my mother, who was standing at the open window. I narrowed my eyes, shaking my head. "He is safe, un."  
"It's not safe, going off with him..." She continued, glaring at the red-head.  
"It _is _safe." I sighed. I felt really sorry for Sasori, who was still sitting next to me. Mum wouldn't stop nagging at the poor guy.  
"I know way too many people who have had bad experiences on holiday, especially when in caravans." She spat.  
"Like who?" I frowned, really wanting to just drive off.  
"Well...My friend Edna; She changed so much after that holiday with her new husband...All I'm saying, is that you're going too fast with _him _too soon. You hardly even know him."

"Goodbye, mum." I seethed, slowly closing the window.  
"You'll be back." The old woman stated, leaning in.  
"I will, mum. In a week."

Sasori smiled, putting his seat-belt on. "Okay, we'll see you then, Mrs Iwa."  
"...I don't like you." She plainly said, squinting her eyes.  
"O-Okay...Well, see you then." The red-head smiled, turning towards the steering-wheel.

The old woman then glared at me, lowering her gaze. "Murderer."  
"It was an accident, mum."

"So were you."

* * *

_**That chapter was very short, I know, but they get longer, I promise. XD I'm trying to get this story finished as soon as possible, and hopefully in time for the end of SasoDei month...Damn, why have I been so lazy!? DX**_

_**I apologize for my sloth-like personality, I assure you I don't just sit around all day...**_

_**Okay, I do...But still. DX**_

_**As you can see, Deidara's mother is a stupid bitch. For once, I've make her unlikable. 8D This fic will get a lot more interesting later, I promise. :3**_

_**I hope you enjoyed, please review!^^ **_


	2. Death Already?

_**New chapter^^ I'm writing this very quickly, just to get it up. Previous chapter was rather boring, I know, and you'll find out a lot more about everything later. So yeah. XD**_

_**I must finish this~! I SHALL FINISH THIS. **_

_**If I don't finish this, you all have the right to travel to my house, and punch me. Or just send me internet punches; I don't mind. **_

_**I'm going to stop talking now, and start writing...**_

_**I hope you like this chapter, please review!^^**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

Me and Sasori had been driving for a few hours now. The roads of the countryside were nothing special compared to my home-town. A few cows here and there, followed by the occasional spot of roadkill. Typical England.

Eventually, it came to the point that we were low on petrol, and had to stop at a station. I watched as Sasori filled the car up, and entered the shop to pay.

I had only met Sasori a few months back; We bumped into each other in a shop, literally. We both weren't looking where we were going, and our skulls collided at a painful speed. We both still have the bumps to prove that, which is kind of cute, I guess. Anyway, we both hit it off straight away, and it didn't take long for the red-head to ask me out. I had never dated before, mainly due to my mother, and quickly accepted. It wasn't that I was ugly- I was far from it, but people just didn't seem to like me. Sasori argued that people were just stupid, and don't recognize good people.

I smiled as the red-head sat back in the car, clutching a large bag of mints. That was another weird thing about the red-head; Dental health was a big must. He was the type of person who went to the dentist every month, as well as brushing his teeth after every single meal. He was definitely a weird one, my little Danna was.

"Extra strong." He grinned, holding up the bag. I chuckled, shaking my head.  
"How can you do that, un?"  
"It sharpens the mind." The red-head smiled, starting the car as he popped a single mint in his mouth. No doubt he'd get through that whole bag in just a day.  
"...Tobi loved mints..." I softly stated, staring at the dashboard.

The red-head stroked my thigh, humming.

* * *

A trip to the railway museum later, me and Sasori were sat at the top of an old tramcar, listening to the man at the front.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the few twelve-hundred tramcars left. Most tramcars were built by London county council, from about 1912 and on wards...".

I turned my head, staring at Sasori with a bored expression. The red-head was watching the man in fascination, absorbing everything he said. Honestly, those mints must have worked. I whimpered, patting the man's knee, hoping he would pay some attention towards me.

Sadly, the red-head didn't acknowledge me until the tour-guide stopped talking, and the tramcar was on its way back to the museum.  
"Danna, this is boring, un..." I drawled, resting my head against his shoulder.  
The red-head chuckled, nuzzling my hair. "Your hair smells very nice..." He mumbled.  
I let out a happy sigh, shaking my head. "Silly Danna~"

Unfortunately, our little moment was cut short, after a large man a few seats ahead dropped an ice-cream wrapper onto the floor. Oh dear.

Sasori snapped his head up, eyeing the wrapper. "E-Excuse me..." He called out quietly, still eyeing the rubbish. Ah, that was Danna. He was rather shy around strangers. "You dropped your wrapper." I tilted my head, staring at the man who was now facing us. However, the large man decided to ignore Sasori's statement, and simply turned back around.

Oh.

Dear.

I faced Sasori, watching him. "You dropped your wrapper." The red-head repeated, pursing his lips. The man just lifted his hand, holding the middle digit of his finger up at us, a way of saying, "I don't care, fuck off."

Sasori's expression changed, and he glared at the back of the man's head, something I would rarely see from the red-head.

* * *

After the tramcar incident, me and Sasori were sat at a nearby cafe. He was quiet as he sipped his tea, staring out the window.  
"Danna, un..." I mumbled, placing my hand on top of his. "He was just an idiot..."  
The red-head nodded. "I know, I know..."

Before I could reply, a ringing sound came from the cafe, and a woman's voice came into tone. "Deidara Iwa, you mother is on the phone. Deidara Iwa, please report to the front desk."  
I sighed, looking down. "I'm going to go and have to see what's wrong, un...". Sasori nodded, biting his nails.  
"Wait here, un..."

* * *

_**Sasori's POV**_

I gazed out of the window, watching a familiar man walk past. He was with his wife, and a teenage boy, most likely his son. The man was large, and pig-like. Ah yes, of course, the man from earlier.

It disgusted me how pigs like him could act so vulgar, in sights as old as this. Why go somewhere, when you're just going to treat it like complete shit? I guess I was just like that.

I winced as I watched the man drop another wrapper, walking off with his little family. I couldn't let that wrapper sit out there. My hygiene problem kicking in, I quickly rushed outside the cafe, picking up the wrapper, and placing it in a nearby bin. I then pulled out my hand sanitizer, coating my hands in the stuff.

When I returned to the cafe for Deidara, I noticed the blonde sitting at the table, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Deidara...?" I frowned, sitting in front of him. "What's wrong?". The blonde just shook his head, hiding his beautiful eyes with his hands.  
"I-I'm going to have to go home, un..." He murmured through sobs, suddenly clinging to me. I let out a soft sigh, kissing his head.  
"Why? Because of her?" I frowned, resting my chin on his warm head. I felt the blonde nod underneath me, letting out another sniffle. Luckily, the cafe was rather empty.  
"I-I don't want to go home..." The blonde muttered, gripping me tightly.  
"I know, I know..." I whispered. "Then don't go home..."  
"I wont, un..."

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

Smiling, I leaned on Sasori's shoulder. We were back in the car again, ready to continue our trip. The caravan was attached to the back of the car, as it should be.

"Danna, I love yo-

Suddenly, Sasori quickly reversed. I chuckled. "Not so fast, Dann-

_Thump._

"W-What was that...?" The red-head frowned, unbuckling his seat-belt.  
"I don't know, un..." I replied, doing the same.

Stepping out of the car, Sasori quickly peered round, before letting out a gasp. The red-head was stood still, staring at something on the ground. I frowned at that, exiting the car to see what was happening. My eyes were met with something shocking.

There was the fat man from the tramcar, laying flat on the floor. His neck was covered in blood, his throat sticking out in an odd position. Blood bubbled from the man's throat, from where he was trying to breathe. The man opened his mouth, large chunks of flesh and blood jumping out. He died a few seconds later.

Before I could do anything else, Sasori gently took hold of me, covering my eyes with his small hands. I heard a woman's scream, and quickly moved the red-head's hands away, staring at the corpse again. Blood continued to spurt from his throat, and he was twitching slightly, due to his nerves still working, even after death. Sasori attempted to cover my eyes again, lightly pulling me away.

* * *

After hours, we were eventually allowed to leave the police station. Of course, as the event was a complete accident, we were allowed to go with no charges. I just felt extremely sorry for the man's poor family, who had to watch the whole thing happen.  
I touched Sasori's arm. "H-He just stepped out, un...You didn't see him and it wasn't your fault."  
"Maybe you're right..." The red-head sighed, staring at the concrete. "I just feel so...Devastated for his family..."

"Danna..." I whispered, pulling his small form into a hug. "Just try to forget about it..."  
"Maybe your mum was right..." He mumbled against my shoulder.  
"A-About what, un...?"  
"About everything..."

* * *

_**Awww, Saso~ XD I'll let you decide whether that man's death was an accident or not...**_

_**...Okay, it wasn't. **_

_**Thanks Saso. **_

_**Another short chapter, m'sorry...I'm just...Hungry! DX **_

_**Well, I hope you enjoyed that (as much as you could, anyway...), please review!^^ **_


	3. The First

_**I drink too much tea. ._.**_

_**That is all. **_

_**Trying to get as many chapters done as I can before I pass out. XD I'm hoping to get at least 4 done today. See kids, this is why you shouldn't be lazy for big events like SasoDei month. DX**_

_**I am a bad role-model. Never listen to me. **_

_**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!^^**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

Despite the previous encounter that day, me and Sasori were having a great time. We explored museum, cuddled, and even kissed. I had never gone on holiday before, but if I had, this would still be the best one yet.

_"Dear Mum,_

_I am not coming home. Yorkshire is lovely, not like what you said at all. They do smile, and even better, they sell my favourite pasta sauce. The caravan bed is quite short, but so is Danna. :) You should be happy for us._

_Love from Deidara. xxx"_

I looked down at the postcard, making a mental note to stop by the next postbox. I stared out the window, gazing up at the sunny but cloudy sky. It was blue, and the clouds looked much fluffier than they did at home. I guess this was just the typical effects of the countryside.

As me and Sasori got closer to the caravan park, I decided to stop reading out the map instructions, and put it back in the glove box.  
"Danna, there's not a lot of space left in the right end of the park, un..." I pouted.  
"Don't worry, I can see a space over there..." The red-head smiled. However, I spied a large Range Rover, pulling a much more fancier-looking caravan in the same direction as us.  
"Danna, they're going there too! T-To the right side, un! I-I wanted the right side!"  
"I'm going to get this bloody right side then." He smirked, speeding up.  
I giggled, sitting up. "Go round them, un!"  
"I will, I will..."

I laughed even more as Danna sped up, curving the around the other caravan. "D-Don't look at them, un!" I smiled, ducking down. Eventually, we managed to speed right past them, claiming the remaining spot on the right side of the caravan park.  
"Fuck you~!" The red-head chanted, turning around slightly. "I am the best~"

* * *

After we had the caravan parked, and we were ready to relax, I found myself staring at the back wheel of mine and Danna's caravan. The blood from the large man was still there, splattered across the wheels, and up the side of the vehicle. By now, it had dried up, and was an odd brown colour.  
"Danna, un...?" I called, looking at the red-head, who was cleaning the table like a maniac.  
"Yeah...?" He replied, looking up slightly.  
I continued eyeing the blood, frowning. "I didn't think that would kill him...". Danna gave me a bit of a funny look, before realizing what I had meant.  
"Ah, there's loads of stuff under a caravan that can kill you."

I shrugged, still not moving. "I'm going to have nightmares about this..."  
"Ah, you're not going to go under a caravan, are you?" Danna smiled, standing at the door. "If anything, you'll be the one driving it."

I blinked as Sasori appeared outside with a bucket of soapy water, and immediately began washing off the dried-up blood. Sasori being Sasori, he made sure not a speck of the stuff was to be seen. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the red-head decided to clean the whole caravan there and then, along with everyone else's.  
"You're so silly, Danna~!" I giggled, watching the red-head wipe a tiny smudge off the wheel, making sure it was perfect.

* * *

I frowned at the sound of a beating drum, looking around. "Danna, what's that noise, un?"  
"Oh, that's just the shaman..." The red-head drawled, serving up my pasta. "Enjoy~"  
I grinned at the meal, immediately digging in. "Thank you, un!"

I wasn't the best cook, and even had the cheek to buy my own special pasta sauce, and proceed to ask Sasori to cook it. The red-head was orphaned at a young age, and was sent to go and live with his grandmother, who payed very little attention towards him. Thus, from the age of 5 the red-head was capable of cooking for himself.

Whilst in the middle of my meal, I remembered what the red-head had said about "Shaman". "Hey Sasori...?" I asked, staring at my Danna, who was doodling in his notebook. The red-head quickly look up, tilting his head. "What did you mean by "Shaman", un?"  
"Ah, they're just a bunch of hippies." He drawled, continuing his doodling. Hippies? The people didn't seem like hippies. I bit my lip, turning around and peering over the fence. Across the field were about 15 indie-dressed people, dancing around a huge bonfire, screaming war chants.  
"Looks scary..." I muttered. The red-head chuckled, looking up again.  
"You think so?"I nodded in reply.

* * *

"Danna, be quick, un! I wanna go to the park..." I pouted, watching the red-head run into the bathroom. We were having a race, and Sasori had tripped over, falling flat on his face. His hands were all muddy, causing him to freak the hell out, and go sprinting towards the nearest toilet. Of course, the red-head would probably have a panic attack at the sight of the messy toilets, and scream murder.

Whilst waiting, I noticed a couple pulling out boxes from the boot of their range rover, bringing it to their fancy, large caravan. The caravan seemed familiar, very familiar.  
"I thought they said we could have the right side..." The woman complained, pouting as her husband passed her a box full of kitchen appliances. The woman was pretty, with emerald green eyes, and pink hair. Her husband had an eerie look about him, grumpy even. He had dark hair, which was spiked at the back, along with dark mysterious eyes. Definitely a big hit with the ladies.  
"Yes, Sakura, something obviously went wro-

"Hey, un!" I grinned, approaching the pair. The two snapped their heads towards me, both having cautious expressions. "I'm Deidara, I like your caravan! What's your names, un? You've got nice hair, and I like your shoes, u-  
"This is my wife, Sakura, and my name is Sasuke." The dark-haired man stated with an unemotional voice. I continued grinning, earning a bitter smile from the pink-haired woman.

At that moment, Danna came rushing out of the bathroom, tears streaming down his cheek. "D-Deidara, h-have you seen what it's like it there?" He cried, running around, obviously searching for me. I blinked at the couple, who had confused looks on their faces.  
"Danna, over here!" I giggled, waving the red-head over. Sasori paused, looking at me, before slowly shuffling over, the odd tear still streaking down his cheeks. "This is Sasori, un!" I smiled, wrapping my arm around the sniffling red-head.  
Sakura blinked, giving off another bitter smile. "Nice to meet you...".

"Can we look inside?" I suddenly asked, turning my head towards the caravan. Sakura looked slightly taken-aback, staring at her husband with a frown.  
"I-I don't see why not..." I Sasuke sighed, walking into the vehicle. I grinned, dragging Sasori along with me.

The caravan was a lot fancier than ours, but not as comfy. It lacked colour, and looked far to dull. "Wow, un!" I exclaimed, looking around. ",It's just like a hospital!". Sakura laughed, as if I was joking. I blinked at the woman, tilting my head with a slight smile.  
"The walls are German oak." Sasuke boasted, smirking as he tapped the light walls.

Suddenly, I heard a loud bark come from the bedroom. A doggy! I grinned, dashing into the room, noticing a small, black dog sitting on the bed. It had a patch of ginger around its left eye. My eyes widened, and I leaned closer to the familiar dog. "T-Tobi, un...?". The dog stared at me with a look of confusion. "A-Are you in there?"

* * *

_**One Year Earlier.**_

I smiled at Tobi, who was sitting next to me on the aged sofa. He loved watching television, especially the news. I whistled happily as I continued knitting my red scarf, which was a few hours away from being complete.

I blinked as I heard the familiar sound of the doorbell, and immediately put my knitting needles down, leaving them sharp-side upwards. I then walked to the door with Tobi in my arms, checking to see who it was. I was faced with a friendly looking young man, holding a bucket.  
"Hey, my name's Naruto, I'm raising money for child soldiers, believe it!" The blonde grinned, holding up the bucket.  
I chuckled, nodding. "I'll see what I can get, un...".

Picking a few pound coins up, along with Tobi's squeaky chew toy, I made my way back to the door, squeezing the toy. Tobi barked playfully, jumping up to grab the toy. I giggled, doing it a few more times. "He loves that, un!". Naruto smiled, holding up the bucket slightly. "You're distracting me now!" I grinned, throwing the toy into the living room. Tobi immediately raced after it, and I put the money in the bucket.

Suddenly, as I closed the door, I heard a huge whine come from the living room. Mum immediately toddled into the room, letting out a scream. I frowned, entering the room. "O-Oh fuck, un!" I cried, staring at the sickly sight with wide eyes.

There was Tobi, laying dead on the floor, impaled through the stomach with my knitting needles.

"Y-You murdered him!"

* * *

"Tobi..." I murmured, holding my hand out to the dog.  
"N-No!" A feminine voice cried, roughly knocking my hand out the way. "Don't touch Obito when he's meditating!". I blinked, staring at the woman with a look of confusing.  
"A-A dog can't mediate, un...".  
"Yes he can!"

I slowly walked out of the room, staring at Danna with a sad face. "Poor boy..." Sasuke muttered, entering the bedroom.

Sasori frowned, before letting out a sigh. "It would be nice when you decorate this place a bit...".  
"We don't like clutter." Sakura sharply replied, entering the kitchen with her husband.  
"No, no, no...Not clutter, just some plants and cushions...a-and pictures...a-and..." The red-head looked around, obviously getting shy again. "A-A table cloth over there...".  
"Well that would be clutter though, wouldn't it?" Sasuke glared, looking at the red-head as if he was some kind of idiot. "Where are both of your parents anyway?".

Sasori blinked at the pair as they turned their backs, once again caressing their precious dog. I pursed my lips at the red-head, hinting that we should leave. However, as we were making our way out of the caravan, I noticed Sasori gently push a plate off the counter, smirking as it smashed against the floor. The couple immediately snapped their heads towards us, glaring. "I-I'm really sorry about that!" The red-head grinned. "S-Sorry, sorry, sorry! T-That's just really embarrassing for me."

I smiled at Danna with a fascinated look, he had never done anything like that before! I managed to resist the urge to burst out laughing.  
"N-Nevermind..." Sasuke growled, staring at the broken plate.  
"I'm so sorry! I'm so embarrassed!" The red-head continued to say, holding his hands up.

Sakura and Sasuke followed us out of the caravan, stopping us before we left. "We're planning on doing some serious walking later, so please don't come back." The dark-haired male announced. "I'm writing a book."  
"Actually, it's Sasuke's third." Sakura smiled, leaning on the door.  
"I'm always out at the crack of dawn, seeking inspiration." He added.

"Ah, that's greaaat..." Sasori murmured as we walked away.

* * *

**S_asori's POV_**

That night, I leaned against the metal fence as I watched the Shaman dance around the huge bonfire. The light repelled against my wide eyes, pulling me in even more. Leaning down, I rested my cold face against the hands, a grin spreading across my face at they continued to dance, beating their drums even faster than before. I breathed in, imagining myself there with them. Dancing, relaxing; The whole concept of it seemed like a strange type of haven to me. I could feel my pulse rising as I thought about it more, a strange wave of anger running through my body.

_"I'm always out at the crack of dawn, seeking inspiration."_

The drum beat increased, and I let out a loud laugh, beginning to dance. I closed my eyes, waving my hands in the hair, inhaling deeply. "Y-Yes! Yes!" I chimed, jumping around to the haunting music.

* * *

That morning, at the crack of dawn, I found myself sprinting through the rocky, deserted fields, laughing. Deidara was still asleep at this time, and would be for a few more hours. It was there that I spied the dark-haired man, Sasuke, with his dog, Obito.

I grinned, hiding behind a rock as I watched the man pause to take a picture of the scenery with his expensive-looking camera. I was successful at retaining my laughter as I crept up behind the tall man, a large blunt rock in my hand. We were both standing on a tall, rocky hill, perfect for the occasion. With one swift move, I swung the rock, hitting the man in the side of the head, immediately sending a ribbon of blood shooting from his skull. Obito barked as Sasuke fell to the floor, and I quickly began beating the dark-haired man across the head with the rock, a psychotic grin plastered across my face as I did so.

Pocketing the man's camera, I slowly rolled him down the hill, watching as he hit the bottom. Definitely dead.

When I had escaped the crime scene, I managed to catch another glimpse of the Shaman, who seemed to be sacrificing chickens. Oh how badly I wanted to join in, slicing through the feathery necks of the birds, watching as they still continued to run, despite being headless. Ah, yes, that would be perfect. Come to think of it, I wish I had sliced Sasuke's head off now.

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

"Danna?" I called out, exiting the caravan. I winced at the coldness, wrapping my pink dressing gown around my frame. I spotted the red-head standing near the fence again, currently watching the scary Shaman people. "W-What are they doing...?" I asked, standing next to the shorter male.  
Sasori smiled, amusement in his tone of voice. "Shamans are sacrificing Mr Hatake's chickens..." He chuckled, continuing to watch. "To their new Goddess or something..." He added.

I frowned at that, continuing to watch the people in fear. I didn't feel safe around people like them at all. I then spotted a speck of red on Sasori's cheek, tilting my head. "Danna, you've got some on you, un!" I cried, wiping the blood off with my index finger.  
"O-Oh, right..." He murmured, his eyes suddenly widening. Ah, typical Danna. He'd now race to the sink, giving himself a sponge bath in the middle of the caravan. Not that it would bother me though. Heh.

"Hey, Dei!" The red-head called from inside the caravan. I entered the vehicle, watching the red-head strip himself off. "I think we should move to another caravan sight, this one's gone downhill." He announced, running the sink. I smiled, nodding.  
"Sure, un!"

* * *

After enjoying the attractive sight of Sasori giving himself a sponge bath, I helped the red-head pack some things into the car.

"Sasuke!" I heard a familiar voice cry. Sakura? "Sasuke!" The voice repeated again, sounding slightly desperate. I frowned, pausing my actions.  
"Hey, Danna...? Can you hear that, un...?"  
"He probably ran off or something..." The red-head smirked, closing the boot of the car.

I then spotted Obito, running up to the car. "Obito, un!" I grinned, holding my arms out to the dog. "What's wrong? Where's your mummy...?", I blinked, picking up the small canine. "Danna, look!" I smiled, holding the dog up to the red-head.

Sasori grimaced slightly; He was never too fond of dogs. "Bad childhood experience." He would always say.  
"What's that?" I smirked, holding Obito's mouth close to my ear. I suddenly gave the red-head a serious look, before pouting. "Obito says his mummy's a horrible bitch, and he wants to come with us."  
"I-I don't think that would be fair on Sakura and Sasuke..." Sasori admitted, opening the door to the car.

I gave Danna the "eyes", staring down at Obito. "We don't care about being fair, do we? No...", I smiled as the dog licked my nose. "We just care about being happy, un...".

Sasori let out a defeated sigh, sitting in the driver's seat. "The things I do for you, babe...". I grinned, placing Obito in the passenger's seat, carefully taking off his collar.  
"I love you so much, Danna!" I grinned, throwing the collar into the bushes.  
"Love you too~" I heard the red-head chime.

* * *

_**Sasori's POV**_

I glared at the mutt, and he stared back with large eyes. "Say one fucking word, and it's-" I ran my finger across my throat, indicating that I would slit the little fucker's throat if he told on me.

"Go, go, go!" Dei giggled, climbing into the back seat.

* * *

_**Whoo~! The first real murder. XD**_

_**Oh my...XDD**_

_**I'm craving tea again...So, yeah...Well, happy new year!**_

_**I hope you enjoyed, please review!^^ **_


	4. Confession

_**Update~! Trying to get this done before 2014. I am mad. O^O**_

_**Soo~ Saso's been revealed to be a fuckin' psycho. **_

_**Yerp. **_

_**I wonder what will happen next~ **_

_**I hope you enjoy this chappie, please review, my lovelies~! :3**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

"Did you hear about that man...?" A woman asked me in a quiet voice. Me and Danna stopped by a local clothes shop, as I needed a new pair of hiking boots. I shook my head in reply, waiting for her to go on. "He slipped and fell whilst on some hill...Did you not hear about that?"  
I gasped, turning my head towards Danna, who was biting his lip. "No..." I shook my head, frowning. "Did he hurt himself, un...?"  
"Head smashed like a pumpkin, died instantly." The woman replied, pursing her lips in sadness.

"That's why I'd never have stone flooring." Sasori piped up. "...Though I do _love _that French farmhouse look." I glared at Danna for being so disrespectful. Then again, the red-head was probably being serious.  
"I-it's terrible when things like that happen..." I said, blocking Danna off from saying anything else.  
"They can't find his dog..." The woman replied, still maintaining the quiet voice.  
"Well..." Sasori sighed. "He probably committed suicide. Dogs would do that." I watched as the red-head shuffled over to some shoes, obviously wanting to end the conversation.

After coming out of the shop, me and Danna were sat in the car, just generally making out, as you do. I moaned as the red-head caressed the back of my head, deepening the kiss. I wrapped my arms around the smaller male, pulling him closer.  
"Dei..." I red-head chuckled, slowly pulling away from the kiss. I pouted at the red-head, wanting more. "If you pull me any closer, we'd become one person."  
I grinned. "Or we'd just be having intercourse, un." Sasori chuckled at that, leaning in again. In seconds, our lips had connected, and the kiss was just as deep as before. I smiled against Sasori's lips, tugging at his shirt.

Just as we were about to take things further, Obito let out a bark from the back. Me and Sasori immediately pulled away, staring at the dog with looks of confusion. "Danna...?" I asked, turning towards the red-head. "D-Do you think...?". Sasori nodded in reply.

"Obito..We've got some sad news." I frowned, leaning on the back of the seat. "About your father, un. He's dead...". I then grinned, opening the glove box. Sasori gave me a weird look as I pulled Tobi's old collar out. "So we're your new parents!" I chuckled, putting the collar around the dog's neck.

* * *

Later that day, me and Danna were walking through a field with "Tobi", admiring a heritage sight. "Danna?" I asked the red-head, entwining our fingers together. "Do you think Tobi had something to do with Sasuke's death, un?".  
Sasori smirked slightly, letting out a chuckle. "I wouldn't be surprised."  
"Do you think he pushed him? He was an abused dog, forced to mediate and all..."  
"There might be blood on the paws of Tobi, but it was probably pure smugness that killed the guy, I can tell you that." Sasori replied, holding up his new camera to take a picture.  
"And Sakura seemed frigid." I added with a smirk.

"Who's this chap?" An old man smiled, stroking Tobi. I smiled as the nice man checked Tobi's collar, announcing the dog's name to his wife. The old woman smiled, pointing towards their little dog.  
"This is Madara." She smiled.  
I giggled, petting the dog. "Say hello to Madara, Tobi~" I smiled. The dogs looked at each other shyly, slowly approaching each other. "Aw, they love each other, un!"  
The old lady chuckled. "Well, they're a bit shy..."  
"But it's often like that when it comes to love..." I stated, smiling warmly at Sasori. "Like you and me when we met, un...".

* * *

"D-Danna!" I cried, wrapping my legs around the red-head's waist, pulling him further inside me. "D-Don't stop, un!". Sasori let out another moan, burying his face into my neck as he continued to thrust, quickening his pace. I closed my eyes tightly as the smaller male mumbled my name, his thrusts now becoming much harder. "M-More!" I demanded, earning a grunt from the red-head.

I slowly turned my head as my phone began to ring; Mum. "Ignore her..." Sasori mumbled, hearing the ringtone. I nodded, shakily pressing the "hang up" button, before letting out another loud moan as the red-head hit my prostate.  
"D-Danna!" I cried again, getting closer and closer to my release.

After a few more minutes, we came together, and Sasori immediately collapsed, panting heavily. "I-I love you, Deidara..." He whispered, being pulled into my embrace.  
"I love you too, Sasori..." I smiled, kissing his head.

We layed like that for a few more minutes, and I wrapped my arms around the red-head, who was nearly asleep. I smiled as I lightly kissed his pale shoulder, pulling the covers over us both. It was then that I heard a quiet voice.

"U-Un...?" I frowned, eventually realizing that the voice was coming from my phone.

I paled.

I had accidentally picked up.

"I-It's not what it seems, un!" I cried, quickly hanging up, now extremely red in the face. To make things worse, Tobi had been watching us the whole time.

Shit.

* * *

Sitting on the bed, I smiled as I watched the red-head cooking my favourite pasta, once again. After a while, I found myself going through the pictures taken on the new camera. "Tobi..." I smiled, looking at the pictures of the hyperactive dog playing in the field. Flipping through, I noticed a few pictures which were a lot more explicit, of me and Sasori.

"Danna, these are a bit saucy, un..." I grinned, continuing to flip through them. The red-head smiled slightly, continuing to stir the pasta. I then came to another picture, with a weird looking thing on. I then realized what it was, and paled.

...

...

"Danna." I calmly stated, blinking at the red-head. Sasori hummed in reply, not really paying attention. "Correct me if I'm wrong, un..." I began, feeling anger well up inside me. "...But neither of us have fucking vaginas!"

Sasori snapped his head towards me, staring at me with wide eyes. "W-What...?"  
"I don't think Sakura's frigid anymore, un!" I screamed, showing the pictures to him. "In fact she looks like a very happy fucking girl!"  
"Deidara, no-

I growled, continuing to flip through the pictures. "No surprise though, especially when you look at...S-Sasuke...?"  
Sasori laughed nervously. "T-That's not Sasuke...T-That's...Me!"  
"H-Have you been fucking Sasuke and Sakura...?" I whimpered, tearing up.

Sasori sighed, pulling me into a hug. "Deidara, what are you talking about...?" I sobbed pathetically into his shoulder, before pulling away, continuing to flip. "A-Are you fucking Sakura?"  
"No!"  
"Are you fucking both of them, un?"  
"No!"  
"When were you at a wedding with Sasuke and Sakura, Sasori?"  
"What...?"

I bit my lip, frowning at the picture of the couple kidding at a wedding ceremony. I wiped my tears, coming to a picture of a man, who's head had been smashed up.

Sasuke.

"W-What is this...?" I whimpered, showing the picture to Sasori. "D-Danna, did you kill Sasuke?"  
The red-head looked slightly taken-aback and began stuttering, going rather red. "W-Well, I...Um..." He continued mumbling, before staring at me. "Y-Yeah."  
"W-Why'd you do that...?" I whispered, staring at him with wide eyes.  
"I-I didn't mean to; It was just an accident..." He confessed, looking down.  
"Danna..." I sighed. "Y-You can't do things like that, un..."  
The red-head looked up, glaring. "Yeah? Well I did it for you!"

I blinked as Sasori stormed out of the caravan, driving off in the car.

* * *

_**Sasori's POV**_

I stared down at my glass of wine in frustration. Why the hell didn't I go through those pictures? None of this would have happened. Here I was, sitting in some unhygienic pub, listening to some lousy news report.

"_Police think Sasuke Uchiha may have killed himself due to extreme financial pressures." _Huh. So I helped the guy.

I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned my head to face the old man from earlier that day.  
"Hello!" He smiled, sitting by me with his beer. "No boyfriend?"  
"Ah, no..." I replied, sipping my wine. "He's taking a nap."  
"Oh, the same with Jean." He chuckled. "We were both discussing what a lovely couple we both thought you were actually."  
"Really?" I chuckled. "That's nice of you...I really do love him."

I really love him.

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

"Dannaaaaa!" I wailed, serving up the burnt pasta. I had tried to cook. "Dannaaaa, come baaaaack!"

I had been sobbing to myself for the past few hours, moping around the lonely little caravan. I wondered if I had left a trail of jelly babies from up the road, Danna would come back. The red-head loved jelly babies.

I smiled to myself at the thought of my jelly baby-loving Danna. However, not long after that I continued to sob, realizing that he may never come back. "Dannaaaaaa!" I continued to wail, pouring two glasses of wine for each of us, spilling half of it on the table.

Later that night, I was still sat outside at the table, a grumpy expression on my face, different to my previous sad one. Sasori still hadn't come back, and I started having doubts that he would never return.

Suddenly, a car turned up. I recognized the man driving the car, as the nice old man from earlier. The man chuckled as he pulled a very drunk-looking Sasori from the car, dragging the red-head over to me.  
"I think this one's had a bit too many..." He smiled, making sure the red-head could stand. I raised an eyebrow at Sasori, who was currently speaking some kind of gibberish.  
"Thanks for dropping him off, un..." I mumbled, watching the man drive away.

I blinked at Sasori, who looked like a complete wreck. "Danna." I glared, staring at the red-head with a sharp look.  
"Nn...?" He asked, immediately sobering up as he saw my angry expression. "D-Dei...?"

"I-I thought you had gone, un!" I broke down, pulling his small frame into a tight hug.

* * *

**_Daww~! Well, there's the second chapter~ :3 Dei-Dei now knows that Saso-kins is a murderer, oh joy~! Naw, things will get a lot more interesting later, trust me. And even better, you wont have to wait, as I'm trying to write this all now. 8D _**

**_I hope you enjoyed that chapter, please review!^^ _**


	5. The Second

**S****_o here's the next chapter! It's almost 7 o clock, So I only have 5 more hours to finish this! Fuuuuu-_**

**_No. _**

**_I shall not be distracted by aimlessly wandering around the house, or Googling pictures of cats doing every-day cat things. No way. _**

**_Well, possibly._**

**_I'm rushing now, so anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!^^_**

* * *

**_Deidara's POV_**

"Danna, Tobi's stopping, un!" I called after the red-head, who was dancing around the field like a psycho. "Tobi's stopping!". I pouted as I watched Tobi bend down, attending to his "Doggy duties".

"Excuse me?" I voice called. I looked up to see a middle-aged man approach me. "You are going to pick that up?"  
"D-Danna..." I called, feeling slightly uncomfortable. No; I wasn't planning to pick up Tobi's shit.  
"This is a sight of natural beauty, So I think you need to sort that out." He smiled bitterly, stopping in front of me. I bit my lip, staring down at the mess on the ground.  
"B-But I didn't do that, un..." I murmured.  
"You need to pick it up."

"I-I can't..." I shook my head, frowning.  
"Why can't you?" He sharply replied, now glaring.  
"W-Well...I haven't got the proper things to d-  
"Why didn't you bring the proper things with you if you're out with your dog?" The man interrupted, beginning to scare me slightly.

I began to whimper. "W-Well I did have the proper things, b-but I'm not having a very good day...!" I blinked, seeing Danna approaching us. "S-Sasori!" I cried out.  
"Good morning." The man stated, eyeing the red-head with suspicion, who was just staring at me with a confused expression.

"T-That man, un...!" I exclaimed, tears forming in my eyes. "H-He's trying to get me to pick up Tobi's mess with my fingers!"  
"That's not tru-

"A dog does a shit." Sasori stated, glaring at the man. "There's not a lot you can do about that."  
"There is." The man narrowly replied. "You pick it up and you take it with you."

"I left the bags in the car, un! But if he hadn't of lost the car, whilst getting drunk at some pub-  
"I know where the car is, and I wasn't drunk!"  
"Admit it, Sasori! We're lost, un! Lost!"  
"No, we're not lost! We-

"Look, look!" The man cried, interrupting us. "I'm sorry, but if you don't pick up this excrement immediately, then I'm going to have to inform the National Trust."

"Actually..." Sasori smirked. "I don't think you're sorry at all."  
"...Neither do I, un."

"Did he touch you?" Sasori asked, looking at me.  
"W-What?" The man cried, glaring at the red-head.  
"I-I don't know, un...I wasn't concentrating..." I replied, crossing my arms.  
"Have a think." Danna stated, staring me in the eye. "Did he touch you?" He repeated. "Can you remember everything?"

I bit my lip, pondering. "Umm...Yes. Yes, he did touch me." Sasori raised his eyebrows, quirking his head towards the man.  
"T-This is preposterous!" The man sneered.  
"What else did he do~?" Sasori continued, ignoring the man.  
I pondered, staring off into a space, before smirking. "He...He tried to put...Tobi's balls in his mouth."

The man let out a cry of frustration, walking off. Sasori chuckled, following the man. I giggled quietly, watching the scene. I could hear the two bickering, along with a lot of cursing come from Sasori's mouth. I blinked as the red-head proceeded to pick up a log, and smash the man round the head with it.

I blinked again, standing, watching.

The red-head continued to beat the man, until he was definitely dead. "Report that to the national trust." He smirked. I walked over, staring at the man's smashed up face. Yes, dead for sure.  
"Has he got any sandwiches?" I piped up, smiling slightly. Sasori pulled a lunchbox from the man's bag, passing it to me. I grinned, opening the box. "Ohh, grapes, un!"

Sasori sighed in relief, pulling a box of mints from the bag. I chuckled at that. "Silly Danna, un...".

"Dei...?" The red-head asked after a few minutes of silence. I raised an eyebrow at the red-head, busy with my dead person grapes. "You're not going to tell, are you...?"  
"Hmm..." I pondered for a moment, chewing a grape. "Nope! I had great fun, un!" I grinned. Sasori smiled in reply, pulling the man's trousers and underwear down.

I blinked at that. "Danna...If you want sex, we can have it when we get back, un."  
"No, no..." The red-head chuckled, stepping away from the body and coating his hands in sanitizer. "This will put them off the scent."

* * *

Later that day, when me and Danna were driving in the car, a radio report came on, talking about the man from earlier. His body had been found.

_"-Police are treating the death as suspicious, and are looking out for a culprit. They are describing this culprit as a dangerous, sexual predator." _

I turned towards Danna with a big grin, high-fiving the red-head.

I had a feeling this holiday would be getting much more fun.

* * *

_**Short chapter~! But a chapter none the less. :3 So, Dei likes to kill. **_

_**Yup. **_

_**XD**_

_**I hope you enjoyed that chapter, please review!^^ **_


	6. The Third

_**I'm going to work into the night until I finish this shit, guys. I'm gonna do it...I shall finish my first ever fic! Dun dun duuuun~! And then hopefully finish a few others^^**_

_**Sooo~ Sassy and Dei and both now obviously psychos...Fun. C: **_

_**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review~!**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

I smiled at Tobi, brushing my hair. "Now be good, un, because mummy and daddy are going out." Tobi licked his lips, barking happily. I giggled, pouring some pasta into the dog's bowl.

* * *

_**Sasori's POV**_

Walking around the new caravan park, I simply enjoyed the view. The sun was shining, and everything was peaceful. Things were going great for me and Dei; Ever since I murdered that guy, things had been going great. It put a whole new push to our relationship. Hell, it even made the sex better. I blinked as I spied a cyclist, kitted out in his full gear. However, at the back of his bike was a plastic pod. It was long, and resembled some sort of white cocoon. The pod was obviously for sleeping in; Pretty cool, really.

I didn't want to talk to the man, so I simply observed his doings. Somehow, when he pulled over, he noticed me.  
"Hey there!" The guy smiled, climbing off his bike. I raised an eyebrow at the pod, almost ignoring the man. "Oh, this is my new prototype, do you like it?". I simply nodded in reply, smiling slightly.  
"I-It reminds me of a cocoon."

* * *

**_Deidara's POV_**

"Danna, I'm ready!" I grinned, opening the door to the caravan. I frowned at the sight of Sasori and some guy talking. The red-head had a large grin plastered across his face, and seemed to be deep in the conversation. I slammed the door, quickly approaching the pair.

I stood next to them dumbly, my eye twitching as they continued their pointless, boring conversation. Hell, Danna wasn't even talking! Just smiling and nodding like a buffoon. "It looks like an aliens coffin, un." I stated plainly, eyeing the monstrosity in front of me.  
"Actually, I call in the carapod." The man announced with a frown. "It gives a whole new way of li-  
"Yeah? Well it just so seems me and Danna are trying a whole new way of living. He doesn't like talking to strangers, un. So leave him alone." I growled, holding the red-head's hand.

The man chuckled, obviously seeing this as a joke. "R-Right...Well, it's nice to meet you, um...?"  
"S-Sasori..." The red-head replied with a shy smile, which I scowled at.  
"Well it's been lovely, I'm John." The man smiled pleasantly, bowing slightly.  
"And I'm hungry." I glared, beginning to pull Sasori away. "Let's eat, un."

* * *

That night, me and Sasori were eating at a nice restaurant. The place was nice, dim with a single candlelight on each table, perfect for couples. Unfortunately, the atmosphere wasn't as pleasant with the group of loud, annoying women, sat across a booth a few tables away. They were having a hen night, and were being extremely uncouth. It was clear that everyone was annoyed with them, but as they were paying customers, the restaurant were more than happy to have them.

"What was with your earlier, hm?" Sasori smiled, leaning closer towards me. I grinned, shrugging my shoulders.  
"I guess I don't like my Danna getting too close to other men, un..." I whispered, a light pout plastered across my face. I then proceeded to run my fingers through Sasori's hair, smiling. "Your hair turns me on~". Danna chuckled at that, taking a sip of his wine.

"I'm going to the toilet..." I announced, standing up with a smile. "Don't eat my pizza."

After attending to my business, and of course checking my hair, I exited the toilets, frowning at the fact that the room was even louder. I could hear the women from the hen night counting down from ten, excitement dripping in their voices. When I came back to the table, my eyes met with something shocking. There was the "Bride to be", standing over my Danna, kissing the daylight out of him. The red-head didn't seem to be enjoying it, due to his constant squirming around, and failed attempts to push the large, busty lady away.

I stood by the table, staring at the woman with large, confused eyes. Eventually, the women got down to zero, and the busty lady eventually pulled away from Danna, leaning in for another kiss. However, the red-head turned his head before she could do this, his eyes landing straight onto me.  
"Do you want to have sex with us all?" The woman grinned, wrapping her arms around the smaller male.  
"Get off..." Sasori muttered, eventually pushing the woman away.

Her eyes than landed on me, and she let out a fake gasp. "I-It's just a bit of fun." She grinned, wiping her pink lipstick across her tanned face. Ugh.  
"Getting married, are you?" I questioned, a bitter smile graced against my lips. "Are you?"  
"Yeah, I am." The girl replied with a grin.  
"What would your fiance think of this then, un?" I asked again. The girl smiled.  
"He'd love it..." She whispered, smirking.

Her friends all giggled. I noticed that they all had their phones out, recording the "hilarious" scene.

"...I'd like to go and pay the bill now, Sasori." I announced bitterly, walking around the table.  
"I'll do it..." The red-head mumbled, about to stand up.  
"Sit!" I glared, pointing to the smaller male, as if he was a dog in training. Sasori paused, staring at me with a confused expression. "Stay!" I growled, my eyes widening. Laughter erupted the room, and I glared at everyone, then noticing that the busty woman was leaving the room, obviously to have a cigarette.

I followed the girl out, watching her lean over the railings. Past the railings, was a large, rocky hill. I smirked to myself, thankful that England was so rocky. Standing about a meter next to the girl, I blinked, staring at her with my wide, blue eyes.  
"I like your veil, un." I confessed, staring at the girl's tacky, white veil. The woman turned towards me, blowing smoke into my face. At that moment, I let out a hiss, ripping the veil from the girl, pushing her over the railings.

I then watched as she fell, her head eventually hitting a large, blunt rock with a loud splat.

Smiling, I noticed Danna standing next to me, he himself leaning over the railings with a pout. "That's gonna leave a nasty stain." He smirked, staring at the girl's mangled corpse.  
"I love you, Danna." I grinned, pulling the red-head into a hug. ",but if you ever let anyone touch you like that, I'll have to kill them."  
Sasori chuckled, resting his head on my shoulder. "I love you too, Deidara, but if you too let anyone touch you, I'll have to kill them."

Whistling, I looked over the rails, blinking. "It's a shame, I really did like her veil, un...".  
"Ah, you've done the world a good deed, Dei." Sasori admitted, smiling. "Now the poor bastard who's supposed to be engaged to her doesn't have to go through a life of living hell."  
I grinned, nodding my head. "Right you are, Danna!"

* * *

**A_nother quick chapter, but the next one should be up soon^^ Dei's first murder; We're so proud of you Dei-Dei~! :3_**

**_I hope you enjoyed, please review~!_**


	7. The Fourth and The Fifth

_**Aaaand finally one of the last few chapters~ I wish I had more time to write this, but I've really been pushing myself to finish it. I've just had the sudden urge to actually finish a fic, y'see, and I lacked motivation to write/find any new chapters...Sorry...Though I should begin updating once I've finished this^^ **_

_**I hope you enjoy this chappie~ Please review~!**_

* * *

_**Deidara's POV **_

"Danna, un!" I cried for the red-head, exiting the caravan. "Where are yo-

I blinked at the sight of Sasori and John, who were sitting by the stupid Alien coffin. "Danna, we're going to the pencil museum, remember?"  
The red-head simply smiled, waving his hand. "Well I guess we'll be going a bit off schedule."  
I growled. "But Danna! You promised we'd go to the pencil museum...".

Earning no response, I glared, making sure to kick the Alien coffin on my way to the car.

* * *

I whimpered, standing in the shop of the Pencil Museum. It of course, just sold pencils. I had gotten through the museum in a matter of minutes, as it was simply too boring without Danna. I pouted at the thought of the red-head, making new friends without me. It sounded bad, but I preferred Sasori when he was too shy to make friends. I preferred it when it was just me and the red-head, no one else. Well, Tobi was a small exception, but he was fucking adorable.

Trying to keep my mind off things, I stared up at the ceiling, eyeing a huge pencil. It was massive, easily taller than short bastards like Danna. Maybe I could make the red-head jealous by fucking a pencil in front of him? Naw, that would be cruel. Hot, but cruel.

"Excuse me, un...?" I called out to the shop assistant, pointing towards the giant stationary. "H-How much is that big pencil...?"  
"Twenty-four pounds." The woman smiled. I bit my lip, nodding.

Later that day, I found myself sitting at the museums cafe, hugging my giant pencil. Maybe I should write Danna a letter? Just to tell him how I was feeling. No, that would be weird. If I was that annoyed, I would tell him.

Instead, I decided to call my mother. "M-Mum...?" I whimpered as the woman picked up.  
"Deidara, is that you?" Her old voice replied. "Are things going wrong?"  
"N-No..." I choked, sniffling. "Y-Yes...W-Well, yes...A-A bit, un...".  
"They're all the same, boy." The woman sighed.  
"B-But we did things, un!" I wailed, sounding desperate.  
"Oh, I realize that. Are you not forgetting that call you left me? Though it would be funny, did you? Well it's not."

I whimpered as the woman hung up, feeling ultimately alone.

* * *

**S_asori's POV_**

That morning, I woke up to find the caravan shaking. Pots were falling from the cupboards, and I was almost thrown off the bed. "Dei...?" I frowned, looking around for the blonde, who was gone. "Oh, what the fuck!" I bellowed, realizing what was going on. I crawled out of bed, opening a curtain. Yep. Deidara was driving the car.

"Stop the fucking car!" I cried, holding on to the bedpost. He obviously didn't hear me. Cussing, I pulled out my phone, immediately calling the blonde.

"Morning Danna!" A cheerful voice immediately answered.  
"Pull. Over. Now." I seethed, wrapping the duvet around my frame.  
"Pull over, un?"  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled.  
"I thought I'd give you a lay in!" Was the blonde's happy reply.  
"Pull over now!" I repeated.

"Fine."

Sharply, the car came to a halt, and I was sent flying forward.

Eventually, I managed to stand up, exiting the caravan, fuming. "O-Oh Christ!" I mumbled, as I saw what looked like a dead man on the side of the road. Deidara had obviously hit the man as he pulled over. On purpose, of course.

"Awww..." The blonde cooed, approaching the body with a smile. "It reminds me of the first day of the holiday, un..."  
"Now that was an accident." I sharply replied, thinking of a way to hide the body. Blood had been splattered all across the curb. If someone happened to drive past, we'd be fucked.

Now; I had no problem with Deidara killing. In fact, it turned me on to no end. However, it was how clumsily the blonde would kill that annoyed me. It was as if he didn't care about being caught.

I felt so pathetic as I sat there in my duck pattered pajamas, cleaning blood off the white road lines, using window cleaner. Deidara was in the process of hiding the body in the bushes.  
"I don't think anybody will be able to see him, un!" The blonde cried from a few meters away. I grumbled in reply, happy with how clean the lines now looked. In fact, they were cleaner than before. I was even tempted to sit there all day, cleaning the white lines.

And that, kids, is how a psycho is formed.

Joke.

I'm not psycho, I swear. I'm just a misunderstood person.

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

I admit it, I felt bad. Danna didn't meant to cancel the Pencil Museum, and I realize that I overreacted. Smiling slightly, I placed my hand on the red-head's knee, watching him drive. "I-I'm sorry, Danna..." I mumbled.  
"It's okay..." The red-head sighed.

"Love you, un..."  
"I love you too..."

_"The death of Mary-Sue Suelander is no longer being considered as an accident. Police are perusing a short, red-headed male, and an angry blonde, in connection with the death. It's not yet known how the incident happened."_

Fuck. So that's the real reason why Danna was so grumpy the other day; I had been too clumsy.

After what seemed like hours, we eventually set up camp. We were based at the end of a cliff. No one was around. We were completely alone. Due to the intense rain, me and Sasori were sat inside the caravan all day, sprawled out across the bed, embracing each other.

Tobi was with John, who was to meet us here. The horrible man and Sasori had become rather close friends, which annoyed me to no end. I didn't like Danna when he was around John-bastard.

I giggled as I felt Sasori nuzzle my neck from behind. "D-Danna! Stop it...!" I grinned, squirming around.  
"I want you..." He whispered, kissing my shoulder.  
"H-Have me then..." I smiled, facing the red-head.

* * *

"John!" Sasori cried, pulling the man into a hug. I twitched at this. Sasori was _never _this open to people. Of course, apart from me. I frowned as the man approached me, holding out his hand to shake. I frowned at the hand, earning a nervous chuckle from John.

I twitched even more as we all sat round the table, drinking wine. Sasori and John were deep in conversation about the Alien coffin, talking about how successful it would be.

It was then though, that John drew the line.

"Sasori, I was thinking..." He began, smiling. "There's a man in Spain I'd like to visit, who's interested in the Carapod. He's given me two tickets to visit him, and I'd like you to come with me."  
I chuckled, shaking my head. "I'm afraid Sasori's very bus-  
"I'd love to!" The red-head grinned.

I glared at Danna, tilting my head. "W-What...?". Before I could get a reply, the red-head stood up, announcing that he was going to get some fresh air. I quickly turned my head towards John, placing my hand on his crotch. The man let out a yelp, attempting to stand up. I hissed, squeezing the crotch harshly. "Look, bitch. I don't know what your fucking intentions are, but there's no way you're taking my man away from me. Get your own, or fuck off."

John was clearly speechless, and just looked down at his wine in pain. We sat like that for a few more minutes, until Sasori came back. "Danna." I stated, staring at the red-head. "John just said some filthy things about you, un."  
Sasori giggled, taking a sip of his wine. "Oh? Do tell."  
"He called you a dirty, slutty bitch. And he said he wanted to fuck you."

"I-I think I'll go to bed...!" John announced, quickly standing up, exiting the caravan. Me and Sasori sat opposite each other for a few more minutes, and awkward silence in the air.

"...Why are you behaving like that in front of John? You know I would never go to Spain with him, I could turn him down! Why can't I have friends? You've got Obito!"Sasori yelled, slamming his glass down.  
I glared. "His name's Tobi, un!"  
"Deidara, his name's Obito, and you know it! Stop calling him that, the poor bastard's going to have an identity crisis!"  
"Tobi!" I yelled. "But how would he know, un? When he's just a stupid fucking _dog?" _

Tobi whimpered, curling into a ball.

"...That's fucking it." I announced, walking out. The red-head followed me, cursing as I approached the Alien coffin which Mark-bastard was currently inside. With all my strength, I kicked the stabilizers off the coffin, and pushed it off the cliff.

"Y-You killed him...?" Sasori asked, standing at the door. I nodded bitterly.  
"Solves that problem, un."  
"...You know I really love you, right?" The red-head smirked. I grinned, pulling him into a hug.  
"I love you too, Danna~"

* * *

_**...And that's that. XD Next chapter = Last chapter~ Ooooh~ :3**_


	8. And The Last

**_Last chapter~! I know I didn't finish it for SasoDei month, as it's now 02:54am, but oh well~_**

**_I have an obsession with writing Saso and Dei and psychos, sorry about that. _**

**_I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!_**

* * *

_**Deidara's POV**_

After a long, lustful session of love-making, me and Sasori exited the caravan, hand-in-hand. The only time we separated, was when Danna poured the petroleum over the caravan, and when I threw the match, swallowing the vehicle in flames. Smiling, we both watched the cozy caravan demolish in the flames, capturing each other in a deep kiss.

After that session, me, Danna, and Tobi raced across the fields, dancing, jumping, and having a fun time. It really was an amazing experience, definitely made to last. I loved my Danna, and he loved me.

Half way through the field, I giggled as the red-head pounced on top of me, capturing me in yet another kiss. When we pulled away, I noticed that the red-head was crying slightly. "Danna...?" I pouted, wiping the tears away. "What's wrong?"  
"I love you so much, Dei...I'm so ready for this..." The red-head whimpered, nuzzling my cheek. I smiled, feeling tears streak down my own cheeks.

Holding hands, me and the red-head continued to run through the fields, both crying tears of happiness. When we reached out destination, I pulled off Tobi's lead, letting him run free.

We both stood at the bottom of the bridge. Sasori was to run the left side, I was to run across the right side. Then, we would join up. I gave the red-head a longing smile as he kissed my hand, bringing it against his cheek, before letting go, and climbing the stairs of the left side of the bridge. I smiled even more as I climbed the right side, and we were both at the top.

_Run. _

I stared into the red-head's eyes as we ran towards each other, getting closer and closer as each second flowed by. After about a minute, we were together again, and I was immediately captured in a tight hug.  
"See, Dei?" Sasori grinned. "That's what it will be like! We'll be separate for a minute, but then we'll be together again! But this time forever!". I grinned back nodding as we both stood on the bench, climbing on top of the wall.

We both stared down at the bottom, where we were just a few minutes ago.

I turned my head to face Danna, and he did the same. Once again, we were both crying. Though that soon stopped as our hands entwined, and our lips met.  
"I-I'll always love you, Sasori..." I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I nuzzled his soft cheek.  
"I'll always love you too, Deidara..." The red-head whispered back.

_3._

_2._

_1._

And then we jumped.

The power of love was a beautiful thing.

* * *

_**;_;...I cried, guys. Last chapter, I cried like a fucking girl.**_

_**Oh yeah. **_

_**I finally finished my first ever fic~! :D Happy^^ Though I'm sad that it had to end in such a way...**_

_**I hope you enjoyed this fic, please review!^^**_


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